-How to feed a giraffe https://t.co/HTuRqkFAmD
Her prospective attorney advised her he would waive his standard fee and represent her pro boner.
RT: "She's still typing... why is she still typing?"-men everywhere, all the time
I don't have any dick pics because I know what it looks like.
RT: Nothing makes my panties drop quite like a man who gets easily offended by a joke
RT: the birds are singing 'fuck its monday'
You wear your alleged Insanity like a badge of honor...
RT: Welcome to the Midwest, single ladies. Every dude between the ages of 25-35 already has 6 kids.
RT: Just accused my 4yr old of being “a real pill,” so now I guess have to figure out how I’ll fix her wagon without feeding…
RT: Survey says.... Fuck Off
RT: I'm a horrible house sitter. I'll find all your pills and sex toys.
RT: I can't crack my knuckles next to your ear. I can't pull hair out of your forearm. No riding the brakes. All these rules.
It appears we're all regressing to our elementary school years drawing our tweets now, as opposed to actually writing them. Yay.
Nothing like taking someone's exact tweet, creating a meme and then claiming it as your own. You know you are, sad big account person.
RT: I've liked all you're tweets, why dont you love me yet?
RT: Why is the silent treatment considered punishment?
RT: Life is too short for portion sizes.
Why wasn't a hoo-ha called a ooh-yeah?
Twitter is a transient town where you should act accordingly.
Stop laughing and catch me. I don't know where my legs went. It was a rough night, ok? Oof! https://t.co/PBzxIpCBks